Cold As A....

....____________________ fill in your favorite phrase.  It was minus 3 when I woke up and won't get out of the teens today, but that's not even close to what they're predicting for Wednesday.  Not meaning the windchill but the actual temperature, they're talking minus 9 for the high.  It made me think of colorful phrases that people use when it's cold as a _________.  Here are some fun ones I found:  Cold as a frosted frog.  Colder than a brass toilet seat in the Yukon.  Cold as a welldigger's ass in January.  Colder than a mother-in-law's love.  Cold as a witch's teat.  As cold as charity.  It's so cold dogs are sticking to fire hydrants.  Colder than a polar bear's butt.  It's colder than a room full of ex-wives.  It's so cold, my sweaters need sweaters.  It's so cold, hitchhikers are holding up pictures of thumbs.  It's so cold, politicians have their hands in their own pockets.  And one of my favorites -- It's so cold, I milked the cow and got ice cream :-)

If you have any to add, I'm all frozen ears :-)  Wherever you are, whatever you're doing today, I hope you're safe and warm and having a most marvelous day.